Moving

We moved in to a new house that is much nicer then the one we've been in for the last 3 years. It's been a crazy time around here because we really had no notice to move. I found the house available for rent in the town we live in, and we moved in 7 days later. No packing, no organization, pure madness. Now half of our life is in random boxes in the garage and only God knows where the cord to my printer is. Luckily, school doesn't start again for me or the kids til end of summer so that gives me a little over a month to find it.

Grace is going to be 1 in 3 weeks. I am having a really hard time with her growing up so fast and it's giving me a serious case of baby fever. I've started to try to ween her but been pretty unsuccessful, she seems to think that my breast is her personal teddy bear (my BFF calls it her teddy-boobie). She's also decided that it's time to wake up at like 6am every day. GRRR

Damian starts karate tomorrow, and he is SO excited. He really wanted to play baseball this year, but because of the custody arrangement and visitation (and because his dad is a royal piece of shit and didn't want to take him to baseball there even though I offered to pay for everything) it just wasn't possible. He has always wanted to get in to karate so this was something I could offer to him that I knew would soften the blow of baseball.

Hunter had football camp this week and as an approaching freshman, he went to camp with the JV and actually held his own. We are pretty confident that he will be invited to move up to JV for the season which is good for me because I much rather go to Friday night football then Thursday (freshman) night. I'm bummed that the high school has decided to remove stunting from cheerleading because of their own stupid political issues (I swear women never get along, ever) but I think Amber is going to try it anyway. She is so talented and beautiful, there is no reason for her to leave her sister's footsteps. She could be a great cheerleader.

Allissa is still being a horrible 15 year old, and I really hope she pulls her head out soon or I might just go frickin loony. Stealing makeup from one sister, clothes from another, and everything under the sun from me. I remember being 15 and it is the worst age for every girl. None of us are ourselves and we become encapsulated by foreign mad-women.

my son is 8, and my daughter is turning 1

It's amazing to me how fast time goes by. My son is the light of my life, and my heart aches when I think about our relationship. I can remember when my son was brand new, so dependent on me. I taught him everything, and he was such a mama's baby.  Now he lives with his dad almost 600 miles away from me and I only see him 100 days a year. It's heartbreaking that he is so far away and it makes me so angry at the family court system for letting his dad move every time I think about it. I feel like I have failed him as a mother, and I wish there was a way that I could change things so that his dad and I could live closer to each other.

My daughter is a mini-me. She is smart and strong willed (God help me when she becomes a teenager). She is beautiful, and looking at her makes me realize that there is purpose to my life right now. She will be a year old in a month, and the thought of her growing up just scares me to death. I have to get used to the idea because we all know there is no way to freeze time, eventually she is going to stop needing me for every little thing and I need to embrace and encourage her independence.

Here in northern California, the weather is blazingly hot and although I hate the winter, I think the record highs in the 100's have been a little bit much even for me.

My son arrives tomorrow and he will be here for the summer. I wish that I was already done with school so I could have a good income to make his summer one that he wouldn't forget. Too bad, so sad. Going to spend some time looking for things to do that cost little to nothing, and praying that my boyfriend follows through with his promise to get him in karate for a month of lessons.

Life is hectic this week because we are moving. I am really nervous about the move. On one hand I am excited to be getting a nicer place that is definitely more conducive to our life with baby, but on the other hand, I am terrified that we won't be able to make rent through the slow construction season. If you are reading this: pray for my family please, we need it!

this is me

after much thought and discussion with many friends I have finally decided to start this. I have had a very interesting life, and the following will be my own journal of events past and present in my life.